Chapter 2
in which our hero:
is eaten by bugs--is almost eaten by the devil himself--sips whiskey on a bus--quotes Eleanor Roosevelt--is run over by the Japanese--poops in a shower--realizes that, alas, tuna does not go well with everything
Despite the 99% DEET that my insect repellent consists of, the mosquitos still find ways to tear my skin to shreds. If you miss one dime-sized patch, they find that spot and bite it a good thirteen or so times. Needless to say, I´m itchy.
I´m sitting out a sub-tropical thunderstorm in a hostel in Puerto Iguazu, at the border between Paraguay, Brasil y Argentina. It´s about 90 F with at least 172% humidity. Today I saw the world famous Iguazu falls, and peered into the throat of the devil (Garganta del Diablo, the world´s third tallest?) I cannot begin to describe the power, magnitude and energy that the Iguazu falls emit. In all, there are about 15 big ones and innumerable smaller guys. I hiked around for 6 hours taking it all in. I took a boat to an island in the middle of the Iguazu River and had lunch with a two-foot long lizard. I named him Chacho. I took his picture.
Eleanor Roosevelt, upon witnessing la Garganta for the first time, is reported to have said something along the lines of ¨Poor, poor Niagra¨. I´ve seen Death Valley, the Grand Canyon, you know, the major US natural wonders but nothing--nothing--compares to what I saw today. Granted, I had to wrestle my way through unheeding tourists grasping desperately for that special shot to show friends and coworkers back home. I thought I was going to be run over by a Japanese stampede. I also had to wrestle my food from the caotes, a smallish racoon-like rodent who are so accustomed to tourists at this point that they literally come up to you and steal your food.
I took a bus here, and I gotta say, the Argentines have public transportation figured out. For a reasonable price, I had a sleaper-chair bed thing like the ones in first class that you curse at upon deboarding a trans-continental flight in coach. They threw in two meals, complete with wine and either champagne or a whiskey for dessert. Guess which one I chose. The 17 hours felt like 4. I´ve forgiven them for playing a shotty Jennifer Love-Hewitt movie. Buenos Aires was a trip. It was weird and exciting and overwhelming and great being back in a big city. But I had good people to show me around. Buenos Aires is about 3 or 4 times as large as Madrid, but it looks and feels almost exactly the same. I had to take a retreat to a suburb called Tigre that is situated on a delta, cut by an intricate web of canals and rivers. I stayed in a modest cabin on stilts, took a hike, talked to the owners about their hydroponic garden, and listen to frogs on the front porch at night. It felt like the South (USA). Tomorrow I head 20 or so hours south-west to Cordoba for a layover to Mendoza, 10 hours west of Cordoba at the foothills of the Andes. From there a 1 hour bus takes me to Tunuyan, where my first farm will be waiting to pick me up. I´ll be getting a yoga lesson every day, plus a wide range of vegetarian fare. No booze, no drugs, no meat, just good health. A detox wouldnt hurt I suppose. Most showers here in Argentina are not in stalls or baths. A typical bathroom is covered in tile and has a sink, toilet, bidet (biday? budet? the european but-cleaner thing), and a showerhead sticking out of one of the walls. The whole bathroom gets wet and you´re free to brush your teeth in the sink, walk around (size permitting), use the toilet--and yes, I have definitely tried this--drop a deuce! Number two! While showering! It´s incredible, honestly. Nothing like killing two birds with one stone and letting a few extra go while you´re at it, if you catch my drift...Alright, so enough potty talk. I suppose that´s about it and my minutes are almost up. I am doing very well and no need to worry, I haven´t done anything stupid yet, except for adding tuna to a salami sandwhich today. They don´t go well together at all.
I took a bus here, and I gotta say, the Argentines have public transportation figured out. For a reasonable price, I had a sleaper-chair bed thing like the ones in first class that you curse at upon deboarding a trans-continental flight in coach. They threw in two meals, complete with wine and either champagne or a whiskey for dessert. Guess which one I chose. The 17 hours felt like 4. I´ve forgiven them for playing a shotty Jennifer Love-Hewitt movie.
Buenos Aires was a trip. It was weird and exciting and overwhelming and great being back in a big city. But I had good people to show me around. Buenos Aires is about 3 or 4 times as large as Madrid, but it looks and feels almost exactly the same. I had to take a retreat to a suburb called Tigre that is situated on a delta, cut by an intricate web of canals and rivers. I stayed in a modest cabin on stilts, took a hike, talked to the owners about their hydroponic garden, and listen to frogs on the front porch at night. It felt like the South (USA).
Tomorrow I head 20 or so hours south-west to Cordoba for a layover to Mendoza, 10 hours west of Cordoba at the foothills of the Andes. From there a 1 hour bus takes me to Tunuyan, where my first farm will be waiting to pick me up. I´ll be getting a yoga lesson every day, plus a wide range of vegetarian fare. No booze, no drugs, no meat, just good health. A detox wouldnt hurt I suppose.
Most showers here in Argentina are not in stalls or baths. A typical bathroom is covered in tile and has a sink, toilet, bidet (biday? budet? the european but-cleaner thing), and a showerhead sticking out of one of the walls. The whole bathroom gets wet and you´re free to brush your teeth in the sink, walk around (size permitting), use the toilet--and yes, I have definitely tried this--drop a deuce! Number two! While showering! It´s incredible, honestly. Nothing like killing two birds with one stone and letting a few extra go while you´re at it, if you catch my drift...
Alright, so enough potty talk. I suppose that´s about it and my minutes are almost up. I am doing very well and no need to worry, I haven´t done anything stupid yet, except for adding tuna to a salami sandwhich today. They don´t go well together at all.
I love you all. You´ll here from me again soon enough.
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